the site of the day;;

unphotographable.

"Unphotographable is a catalog of exceptional mistakes. Photos never taken that weren't meant to be forgotten. Opportunities missed. Simple failures. Occasions when I wished I'd taken the picture, or not forgotten the camera, or had been brave enough to click the shutter."

i love it, i'm genuinely hooked on reading every single one.

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staying up until 6 in the morning, in the darkness of my room, i got to thinking. i thought about these past three weeks --- winter break --- and i thought of how much i dread going back to school. i can't really figure out why, but waking up early, going to classes i hate, and seeing people that might or might not want to speak to me anymore just doesn't appeal to me. i'd much rather spend my time doing other things.

so much has changed in only three weeks of not being at van nuys high. i can't imagine how much my life will change once we've graduated. but i have the heart to let the people i love know what's changed. he obviously doesn't appreciate that. "you're fucking stupid. go tell your parents, don't tell me." so where does it go from here? are we really done being friends after 6 years? as much as i feel my heart breaking, and even if i know i'll probably cry at one point or another, life goes on. yes, i'm bummed out, but that goes away eventually. right?

and then there's...all the other shit going on. the guilt, the confusion, i don't know WHAT i feel anymore. as much as i insist, i'm not completely heartless. i'm just...weird. i don't like holding hands at all. actually, i hate it. i don't really like cuddling, at least, not with the same people i make out with. i think, i'm not there yet. my heart's not dead yet. but it's getting there.


gahhh, i need a camel crush. :/


I. NEED. TO. STOP.

but i'm not going to.
i'm trying, but i don't want to.



anyway, enough about that.


i've decided to do this thing called Project 365.

What you do is take a picture a day, for an entire year.
I'll make a new flickr account, and upload the pictures i've taken once a week.
what a better way to start the new year with a project like that?

i'll start today; a saturday.
and i'll carry a camera around EVERYWHERE.
but it won't just be digital, i'll use my instax when i get it.

:]