it's been over a month since my last update. honestly, right now i just need to vent. vent about my stresses, worries, problems, and wishes. i don't understand why my life has taken a complete turn. i can't even tell if it's a turn for the worst or for the better. possibly the best thing in my life at the moment is my boyfriend. yes, boyfriend. he's the sweetest, most amazing boyfriend i could have ever hoped for. he's the only thing that keeps me sane at the moment, considering that i'm failing two of my classes, have double the maximum absences (uncleared, as well.), and i'm currently worried like crazy about whether or not i'm going to get to graduate on stage. and to be quite honest, that breaks my heart way beyond repair. i'm SCARED. i'm frightened, and i don't know what to make of it. because i want to have that memory to look back on when i'm 70. i keep telling myself that i have a chance and i'm going to appeal, but that doesn't keep me from being absolutely stressed. then there's friend problems.... drifting away... lost friends... it's too much to deal with. but i think i might just be getting my act together. finally. i can't give up... i just can't.